Why Are Gays the Sluts of the World?

Why are gays the sluts of the world? I ask this question not thinking we are but knowing that we are most definitely perceived that way. This stigma of homosexuals being sex crazed whores is in some cases over-exaggerated and in others just completely baseless. Still, I want to put forth what I think are causes, not excuses, and also offer up that it's not just us gays who get around the town.

Let's start off by noting that the human race as a whole is sex crazed (look at our tv ads) and that expressing the capacity to love in sexual ways is something ingrained into all of our cultures. So what then brings out this condemnation on us, the homos, specifically? Well, I'm glad I asked. I was recently talking with some friends about the marriage limiting amendment that is coming up for vote in Minnesota. The general response I get, even from other gays, is that we don't have long term relationships and that it is rare when one of our couple pairings makes it -- the exception not the norm. Where does this consensus come from? And furthermore, why are we being singled out on this? We have proven statistics that show more than half of marriages end in divorce. Guess what, the gays can't get married yet! So it isn't us!! So, we have over half of our heterosexual counterparts breaking up after making a 'lifetime' commitment to each other and yet us homos are the ones who can't make relationships work?! Who the fuck writes this shit? I have seen relationships, no matter who they are with, end and fade. The sexes of those involved has been a moot point.

Now, I will admit that I think our community has historically not been in the relationship business: more out of necessity than want. It is very difficult to have full fledged relationships when for the majority of our history we feared for our livelihoods, and worse our lives themselves, if we were discovered as lovers. So that fed into this hookup lifestyle: made ever so easy with the advent of bathhouses and gay bars at the turn of the twentieth century. There's a trend of this changing and shifting rather rapidly, and it's been an emerging trend for quite some time. We are relational beings after all (even us gays). We also have to remember that there haven't been services to help us through relationship problems. Until recently there was no major support structure to speak of for our community. However, I believe we are at the point where we are no more likely to break up than our heterosexual counterparts. And it's time people started recognizing that very important fact. I would also predict that when we eventually gain equal rights and the stigma surrounding gay relationships is fully discarded we will quickly see that our love and commitment is just as real and messy and rewarding as everyone else's in this world.

-Jacob, 6 Sep 2012